BRAZILIAN WAX HORROR STORY

Yes, I said brazilian. That means my goal “naked mole-rat status”. Did I leave that way? No, no I did not. I left scared, and aching in places I wished not to be aching. 

Image result for waxing

  I suppose I just became more lazy and wanted to have someone else remove my hair every couple/few weeks. Shaving that part of your body, if you know what I mean, is a circus no one would ever want to visit. There are acrobatics involved unknown to the average man, and crevices you always miss no matter how hard you try to get them. I was wrong to try this modern form of torture. SO. VERY. WRONG.

How it went down (THE GOOD STUFF):

  I’ve been waxed before, just so you know. I’ve done my armpits and eyebrows. These two areas were pretty much the same in the uncomfortable scale. I went in, expecting it to hurt around the same amount as my armpit or under-eye. She placed the first strip on the side. When she started to rip it off, my legs fluttered and tried to clench. She held them open and tried a few more times in different spots, with me crying and bleeding a little. After what felt like an eternity on that medical bed, she decided we should stop because my body was in shock. I could not stop shaking or crying. I don’t know what came over me, but it was humiliating. There’s no words to accurately describe the feeling of laying naked waist-down on a medical table while someone attempts to remove your hair down-under. 

The Aftermath:

   I went out of the salon having a horrible time standing, let alone walking. I went to the car with my boyfriend and cried for a long time, I assume because of relief and coming down from the rush of adrenaline. I found it hard to sit or move around for the rest of the next two days. I still felt the wax on me from time to time for the next few days, which is why I think I’m permanently scarred by this experience. 

Would I do it again?

  Me? HELL NO. However, everybody’s body is different. I would test your sensitivity at home before paying for a horrific wax though. It works for some people, not for this girl. I’ll stick to my acrobatics in the shower thank you very much. 

Unapologetically,

Paige

 

 

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